Tell Me about Your Relationships?

relationships

A few weeks ago my therapist said to me, “Tell me about your relationships?”  Here’s a document I wrote about 20 years ago talking about my relationship with my brother-in-law.  How does a therapist deal with a client who talks like this about relationships?  A debtor and a narcissistic creditor who doesn’t seek payment on a note?  Huh?  Whoa!  How does a therapist deal with me?  Metaphor: Imagine the doctor says, “Where does it hurt?” and the patient goes into the underlying genetics of his disorder!!

And what can any therapist say to me that will be as satisfying to me as my own thoughts are to me?

http://dailstrug.blogspot.com/2010/06/lisa-osborne-phd-psychotherapy-clinical.html

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Sessions with Therapist

 

8-14 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/08/26/final-version-therapy-summary-august-14-2017/

8-21

8-28 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/09/09/final-version-therapy-summary-august-28-2017/

9-11 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/09/14/therapy-summary-9-11-draft/

9-18 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/footnote-4-is-very-freudian-and-very-brilliant-dr-palombo-territory-final-version-therapy-summary-9-18-2017/

9-25 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/09/30/draft-version-therapy-summary-september-25-2017/

10-2 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/10/15/draft-version-therapy-session-1022017/

10-9

10-16 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/therapy-session-10162017/

10-23

10-30

11-6

11-13 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/11/26/draft-version-of-therapy-session-november-13-2017/

11-27 https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/12/03/draft-version-therapy-summary-12-27-2017/

email Message to the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals

To the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals:

Richard Cullen, Esq. (McGuire Woods) is admitted to practice before the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals. Mr. Cullen has an employee [redacted] who may have information that could assist federal authorities in the prosecution of a crime against the Government of the United States. Mr. Cullen is a former Attorney General of Virginia. Doesn’t McGuire Woods have an ethical duty to assist federal authorities?

Gary Freedman, Esq.
Washington, DC
PA Attorney License 41032

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: rcullen
Sent: Tue, Dec 5, 2017 11:42 am
Subject: unprosecuted felony

Mr. Cullen:

President Trump’s attorney, John M. Dowd was for many years an Akin Gump attorney, and friend of Dennis M. Race, Esq, during my tenure there.

Incidentally, [redacted], Chief Legal Talent Officer at McGuire Woods, was my supervisor at Akin Gump. Perhaps Mr. [redacted] can offer you details about my felonies which grow out of my employment at that firm.

https://dailstrug.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/letter-to-jason-chaffetz.pdf

The following is an email I sent to FBI Director Christopher Wray when he was in private practice, in May 2017:

Gary Freedman, Esq.
Washington, DC

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: cwray
Sent: Wed, May 31, 2017 4:43 pm

Mr. Wray:

I forward an email message I sent to Professor Daniel C. Richman at Columbia University Law School. Professor Wray was an adviser to former FBI Director, James Comey.

Gary Freedman
Washington, DC

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: drichm
Sent: Sun, May 14, 2017 2:14 pm
Subject: felony

Professor Richman:

I thought you might have an academic interest in this unusual matter.

There is evidence that I am using a lawful order issued by the D.C. Superior Court to help me commit a felony — a significant financial fraud — against the Government of the United States. Oddly, the FBI has acquiesced in my felony.

Below is a collection of pertinent documents:

https://dailstrug.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/letter-to-jason-chaffetz.pdf

Gary Freedman
Washington, DC

email Message to the U.S. Supreme Court

To the Supreme Court of the United States:

Richard Cullen, Esq. (McGuire Woods) is admitted to practice before the Supreme Court of the United States. Mr. Cullen has an employee [redacted] who may have information that could assist federal authorities in the prosecution of a crime against the Government of the United States. Mr. Cullen is a former Attorney General of Virginia. Doesn’t McGuire Woods have an ethical duty to assist federal authorities?

Gary Freedman, Esq.
Washington, DC
PA Attorney License 41032

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: rcullen
Sent: Tue, Dec 5, 2017 11:42 am
Subject: unprosecuted felony

Mr. Cullen:

President Trump’s attorney, John M. Dowd was for many years an Akin Gump attorney, and friend of Dennis M. Race, Esq, during my tenure there.

Incidentally, [redacted], Chief Legal Talent Officer at McGuire Woods, was my supervisor at Akin Gump. Perhaps [redacted] can offer you details about my felonies which grow out of my employment at that firm.

https://dailstrug.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/letter-to-jason-chaffetz.pdf

The following is an email I sent to FBI Director Christopher Wray when he was in private practice, in May 2017:

Gary Freedman, Esq.
Washington, DC

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: cwray
Sent: Wed, May 31, 2017 4:43 pm

Mr. Wray:

I forward an email message I sent to Professor Daniel C. Richman at Columbia University Law School. Professor Wray was an adviser to former FBI Director, James Comey.

Gary Freedman
Washington, DC

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: drichm
Sent: Sun, May 14, 2017 2:14 pm
Subject: felony

Professor Richman:

I thought you might have an academic interest in this unusual matter.

There is evidence that I am using a lawful order issued by the D.C. Superior Court to help me commit a felony — a significant financial fraud — against the Government of the United States. Oddly, the FBI has acquiesced in my felony.

Below is a collection of pertinent documents:

https://dailstrug.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/letter-to-jason-chaffetz.pdf

Gary Freedman
Washington, DC

email Message to Virginia Bar Counsel , James McCauley, Esq.

Mr. McCauley:

Richard Cullen, Esq. (McGuire Woods) is admitted to practice in Virginia. Mr. Cullen has an employee [redacted] who may have information that could assist federal authorities in the prosecution of a crime against the Government of the United States. Mr. Cullen is a former Attorney General of Virginia. Doesn’t McGuire Woods have an ethical duty to assist federal authorities?

Gary Freedman, Esq.
Washington, DC
PA Attorney License 41032

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: rcullen
Sent: Tue, Dec 5, 2017 11:42 am
Subject: unprosecuted felony

Mr. Cullen:

President Trump’s attorney, John M. Dowd was for many years an Akin Gump attorney, and friend of Dennis M. Race, Esq, during my tenure there.

Incidentally, Mr. [redacted], Chief Legal Talent Officer at McGuire Woods, was my supervisor at Akin Gump. Perhaps [redacted] can offer you details about my felonies which grow out of my employment at that firm.

[redacted]

The following is an email I sent to FBI Director Christopher Wray when he was in private practice, in May 2017:

Gary Freedman, Esq.
Washington, DC

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: cwray
Sent: Wed, May 31, 2017 4:43 pm

Mr. Wray:

I forward an email message I sent to Professor Daniel C. Richman at Columbia University Law School. Professor Wray was an adviser to former FBI Director, James Comey.

Gary Freedman
Washington, DC

—–Original Message—–
From: Gary Freedman
To: drichm
Sent: Sun, May 14, 2017 2:14 pm
Subject: felony

Professor Richman:

I thought you might have an academic interest in this unusual matter.

There is evidence that I am using a lawful order issued by the D.C. Superior Court to help me commit a felony — a significant financial fraud — against the Government of the United States. Oddly, the FBI has acquiesced in my felony.

Below is a collection of pertinent documents:

[redacted]

Gary Freedman
Washington, DC

Goethe and I Have the Same Associations

venice

In a dream interpretation I wrote in 2014 (“The Dream of the Malaysian Jet Liner”) I associated the canals of the city of Venice (and Amsterdam) to the female genitals.

https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2014/07/20/the-dream-of-the-malaysian-jet-liner/

Lo and behold, I just chanced upon a bawdy poem written by the great German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe that makes the same association:

Goethe wrote:

If only, Venice, you had girls as

charming as your canals 

and cunts as narrow as your alleys

you would be the world’s finest city.

goethe

This Sounds So Grandiose, But It’s True!

Personality factors that affect my social functioning. What does this cluster of characteristics mean? Is this a recognized cluster?

1. I have a dismissive attitude about the value of relationships (Connors).

http://integrativehealthpartners.org/downloads/pdf/articles/Connors_1997b.pdf

2. I have strong fears of engulfment combined with strong merger hunger. Distance from others is the compromise between these two conflicting feelings (Yontef).

http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.549.1050&rep=rep1&type=pdf

3. I have a strong need for twinship, idealization and mirroring (Kohut). I have low social interest for persons who cannot satisfy my twinship needs.

https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/features/pap-a0036866.pdf

4. My intense twinship needs may be a defense against my need for merger hunger (Coen).

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6927307

My twinship needs may also be a defense against fears of engulfment (Kohut)

https://books.google.com/books?id=ZyMiAwAAQBAJ&lpg=PA265&ots=icmaSk33Bp&dq=%22according%20to%20kohut%20the%20boy%20was%20deprived%20of%20the%22&pg=PA265#v=onepage&q=%22according%20to%20kohut%20the%20boy%20was%20deprived%20of%20the%22&f=false

5. I face a high risk of scapegoating in some groups (Kernberg).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Role_suction

6. I face a significant risk of interpersonal jealousy in some groups (Sullivan).

https://books.google.com/books?id=Zen7AQAAQBAJ&lpg=PA348&ots=E6eRK1Umk4&dq=%22Jealousy%2C%20on%20the%20other%20hand%2C%20never%20concerns%20a%20two-group%20situation%22&pg=PA348#v=onepage&q=%22Jealousy,%20on%20the%20other%20hand,%20never%20concerns%20a%20two-group%20situation%22&f=false

7. I am able to use intellectual interests as an alternative to social relations. This is “a critical independent aspect of development which expresses an inborn propensity to establish cognitive and affective links to objects in the world.” That is, my interest in objects is not a drive derivative (from an analytic perspective) or defense against attachments (from an attachment perspective). (Eagle, M. “Interests as Objects.”).

https://books.google.com/books?id=urm2yO6NJRcC&lpg=PA195&ots=y5UdqImYkN&dq=%22all%20the%20evidence%20taken%20together%20indicates%22%20eagle&pg=PA195#v=onepage&q=%22all%20the%20evidence%20taken%20together%20indicates%22%20eagle&f=false

8. I am able to use ideas or intellectual interests as transitional objects (Lerner and Ehrlich).

https://books.google.com/books?id=dGr1BwAAQBAJ&lpg=PA67&ots=CsCDUL3LF2&dq=%22the%20level%20of%20cognitive%20maturity%20as%20well%22&pg=PA67#v=onepage&q=%22the%20level%20of%20cognitive%20maturity%20as%20well%22&f=false

9. I have strong feelings of social alienation, a feeling that I am like no one else in the world (MMPI).

10. I am viewed as charismatic and special by my peers (personal anecdotes).

11. I have a moderate social introversion (MMPI) and social anhedonia. I don’t have a high interest in social relations and I don’t get a lot of pleasure out of social relations.

12. I may have a dissociated lack of interest in social relations that may be related to unconscious guilt (Friedman).

https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/09/05/survivor-guilt-in-the-pathogenesis-of-anorexia-nervosa/

13. I might have a post-conventional moral value system. My behaviors will tend to be based on absolute moral values without regard to the social consequences. I don’t have a “go along, get along” value system (Kohlberg).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Kohlberg%27s_stages_of_moral_development

14, I am intuitively gifted. I have the ability to intuit the feelings and thoughts that occur in the minds of others. (Andreason, N., “Creativity in Art and Science: Are There Two Cultures?”) (Lee, PC. “Giftedness and Psychological Abuse in Borderline Personality Disorder: Their Relevance to Genesis and Treatment.”). I tend to be viewed as paranoid by peers.

http://www.leecrandallparkmd.net/pdfs/gifted.pdf

15. I have an independent self-concept and a high need for uniqueness. An individual with a high need for uniqueness emphasizes a sense of independence, anti-conformity, inventiveness, achievement, and self-esteem. (Fromken and Snyder.) Such persons will not engage in socially-reparative strategies in the face of social rejection, unlike persons with an interdependent self. (Kim)

http://digitalcommons.ilr.cornell.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1622&context=articles

16. I experience social discomfort and am socially shy.

Mistaken Knowledge: My Letters as Transitional Objects

toy blocks pyramid, multicolor wooden bricks stack isolated white background

When I was a small kid I had a set of wooden blocks. This was one of my favorite toys. I would spend a considerable amount of time working and reworking the arrangement of the blocks in novel structures that suited my fancy.

My letters to my therapist are arrangements and rearrangements of ideas. Many of the ideas I borrow from technical psychoanalytic sources. My letters and their composite ideas are like a castles I have built of wooden blocks. Each wooden block — arranged with other blocks to form a composite structure — is a mere instrument used in the service of the expression of an inner truth, a psychological truth, embodied in the castle I have created.   It is well to keep in mind that with the transitional object the individual manages the relations between the outer objective world and the inner world of subjective experience. In my wooden castles I have used concepts of the outer world of knowledge (wooden blocks) to express an inner world of subjective experience (the castle).

People may say, “Does he even know what he’s talking about?” Does he even understand Kohut and Klein? My response is — does that matter? One should look for meaning in the “castle” I have built: why that arrangement of blocks satisfies me — why that overall structure satisfies me. One should see each letter as an aesthetic construction that lies beyond truth or persuasive power. One should look for the truth of the letter in the subjective meaning of the castle as a whole — the way one would look at a painting, which is fundamentally a composite of colors and shapes.

http://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/prev.2013.100.2.267

I am reminded of Nietzsche:

It has gradually become clear to me what every great philosophy up till now has consisted of — namely, the confession of its originator, and a species of involuntary and unconscious auto-biography; and moreover that the moral (or immoral) purpose in every philosophy has constituted the true vital germ out of which the entire plant has always grown. Indeed, to understand how the abstrusest metaphysical assertions of a philosopher have been arrived at, it is always well (and wise) to first ask oneself: ‘What morality do they (or does he) aim at?’ Accordingly, I do not believe that an ‘impulse to knowledge’ is the father of philosophy; but that another impulse, here as elsewhere, has only made use of knowledge (and mistaken knowledge!) as an instrument.

Isn’t Nietzsche saying that from the point of view of the meaning of the subjective value system of the philosopher, that is to say, from the standpoint of “philosophy as autobiography” — it doesn’t matter if the philosopher knows what he is talking about — or that he has a mistaken understanding of his predecessors?

Is This Even Ethical?

disaster

I currently see a therapist who views herself as a relational therapist. I was reading about the aims and parameters of relational therapy. How on earth do the aims, practices and parameters of relational therapy have anything to do with the problems of a person who suffers from complex and serious character pathology? How on earth does relational therapy address the issues of a person with the nature of my character pathology?

How is it even ethical for a relational therapist to work with somebody like me? Whoa!!

https://dailstrug.wordpress.com/2017/11/05/24112/

Relational Therapy
What Is Relational Therapy?

Relational therapy, sometimes referred to as relational-cultural therapy, is a therapeutic approach based on the idea that mutually satisfying relationships with others are necessary for one’s emotional well-being. This type of psychotherapy takes into account social factors, such as race, class, culture, and gender, and examines the power struggles and other issues that develop as a result of these factors, as well as how they relate to the relationships in a person’s life.

When It’s Used

People who are experiencing distress from their family, intimate, professional, or social relationships may benefit from relational therapy. This includes those who are experiencing mood disorders, such as anxiety, depression, or stress, that are causing relationship issues and those who suffer from low self-esteem, eating disorders, and poor body image.

What to Expect

In relational therapy, you learn to identify how you may be pushing people away rather than attracting them and also come to understand how these behaviors are related to past experiences. The goal is to develop new ideas about relationships, to build a strong relationship with the therapist, and to use both those new ideas and the therapeutic relationship as a model to create healthier, longer-lasting relationships with others.

How It works

Relational therapy stems from relational-cultural theory and the work of Jean Baker Miller in the 1970s and ‘80s, that looked at human connection and the ways culture influences relationships. Miller’s work centered on women, privilege, and power, and the dominant and subordinate roles played out in relationships. At that time, there was a movement in the field of psychotherapy away from pure introspection and toward an exploration of the dynamics of human relationships and their effects on individuals. More focus was given to emotional issues, stress, and power differentials from past relationships and how they can interfere with true personal expression and the ability to form solid relationships in the present. Relational-cultural theory focuses therapists and counselors on the cultures and contexts that affect relationships so they can work effectively with more diverse clients. The therapist addresses these issues within the context of the therapeutic relationship and the client’s relationships outside of therapy.

What to Look for in a Relational Therapist

Look for a licensed, experienced mental health professional with specific training in relational cultural theory or relational therapy. In addition to finding someone with the appropriate educational background, experience, and relational approach, look for a therapist with whom you feel comfortable discussing personal issues. A relational therapist should be a warm, empathetic, understanding, and nonjudgmental person, because the success of relational therapy is highly dependent on the client’s ability to form a personal relationship with the therapist.