My father was a cutter. He worked in the garment industry. He worked in a necktie factory cutting neckties. It seems there are a lot of cutters on the Internet. I don’t understand. The garment industry in the U.S. is pretty dead. Most of the jobs have gone overseas. So how can there be so many cutters on the Internet? Unless the cutters on the Internet are writing from Taiwan or Singapore.
It’s a day unlike any other. It’s a hot day in the nation’s capital. Probably 90+ degrees. But then, it’s almost July — the month when the vine withers and the mint julips flow. I’m just hanging out at the public library. I’m luxuriating in the Supreme Court’s decision upholding Obamacare! Wow! What a great gift to all the people of this great and glorious land. Now there will be healthcare for everybody and plenty of it. The dream of Teddy Roosevelt of 100 years ago has become a fixed and tangible reality. We live in a land of dreams. Just the other day I said to Eric, “What’s up, buddy?” Eric said, “I’m livin’ the dream.” All Americans are living a dream. The dream of opportunity and freedom. I am so very proud to be an American!!
God Bless America! God Bless Broccoli!
I’m getting deported. They’re sending me back to my native country. I’m from Antarctica originally. They’re sending me back on the next flight to the South Pole. I didn’t mean to enter the U.S. illegally. I was standing on the edge of the ice one day at home in the South Pole. A chunk of ice broke off and I floated to Texas. Blame global warming!!
Some days time drags, and others the hours just fly. That day — the day my employment was terminated by the law firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld — was one of those, when everything seemed to happen at once. Unlike my firing by Hogan & Hartson, three and a half years earlier, I was terminated quickly, the end coming in something of a rush, like a cork from a bottle. I was fired in typical Gary Freedman fashion — with a response of total silence. I swear I had the most silent response to a job termination you have ever heard. I’d like to tell you that it was meaningful but it wasn’t — just meaningless, empty silence. I was fired four days after I lodged a harassment complaint against my coworkers, and nothing ever changed: for the whole of my life I was never allowed to complain — about anyone, about anything.
My day is all plotted. I’ll sit outside for a while listening to my iPod. Maybe I’ll listen to Schumann’s Fantasiestucke. Then I’ll work out. Then take a shower, brush my teeth and shave. Then go to the library. Hang out there for the afternoon. Come home. Prepare my baked ziti for dinner. Watch TV in the evening. Maybe read. Sit outside and listen to my iPod some more. Go back to my apartment. Watch TV. What’s on TV tonight, by the way? I got a DVD of the movie Quiz Show. Love that movie. Maybe I’ll watch that. Then, I think I’ll get in bed, snuggle up with my Teddy Bear, and go to sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
On the whole, at any rate, I have achieved what I set out to achieve. But do not tell me that it was not worth the trouble. In any case, I am not appealing for any man’s verdict, I am only imparting knowledge, I am only making a report. To you also, honored Members of the Academy, I have only made a report.
–Franz Kafka, A Report to an Academy