I closed my eyes and lay in a darkness of

my own.  Why not die and put an end to

all the torment?  I invoked Nirvana or death.  I wanted

to enter a sphere where there was no anguish, no

yesterday, no tomorrow.  I wanted to retreat into a part

of the elements of which I was constituted.  As I

dozed off, I dreamed about things for which there are

no words or concepts.  I became a creature who stretched

like rubber;  I was partly an elastic spring, partly intangible

spirit, partly fear, partly language.  I turned into an embryo.


Paraphrases from the novel The Certificate by Isaac Bashevis Singer.