Oscar Berg wasn’t a morbid person. As a child, he
had worried about death the way most children do, trying
to comprehend the idea of his own nonbeing. The idea
was too complicated and depressing and so he mostly forgot
about it. He had a period in his mid-teens when
he feared that he would die a virgin, but after
Priscilla W. took care of that he stopped thinking about
nothingness. Now, lying in the dark Oscar began to contemplate
the prospect of his own nonexistence. He wasn’t afraid of
dying so much as the pain that would precede it.
Paraphrases from the novel Body of Lies by David Ignatius.