20 September. — Only resolution and habit can let me make
an entry tonight. I am too miserable, too low-spirited, too
sick of the world all in it, including life itself,
that I would not care if I heard this moment
the flapping of the wings of the angel of death.
I am weary tonight and in low spirits. I cannot
but think of Ben, and how different things might have
been had he never met Fiona. If need be, tonight
shall be sleepless . . . Already the sudden storm is passing and
its fierceness is abating. I have felt and suffered much . . .
Paraphrases from the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker.