My therapist is a 70 year old man.
On one occasion he asked me, “Do you ever visit your parents’ graves?” I said, “no,” I have never visited my parents’ graves. “Never?” “Never.”
(I don’t believe in visiting graves. The body is just a vessel. A person’s remains are meaningless to me.)
On another occasion my therapist asked, “When you die — (When I die?) — When you die what do you want engraved on your tombstone?” I said, “He made a fuss.” That’s what I want to be remembered by. Everybody has this go along get along mentality. I’m the one who made a fuss when things were not right. Throughout my life my reaction to things has always been, “I’m not going to go along with this crap.”
I got the idea from Dr. Shengold’s book, Soul Murder. A boy’s father was a tyrant (Shengold called him a “domestic tyrant”). In a fit of anger the father squashed a banana on the dinner table. The boy got upset. The father reacted angrily. “Why do you make such a fuss over a squashed banana?” The boy made a fuss. But the real problem was the father who was a domestic Hitler.