I have always longed for a transformational experience. It is

something I hungered for as long as I can remember.

I yearned for the Great I Am: a sense of

merging with the universe. I thought that a reformative experience

would include some alteration of consciousness, some sudden illumination,

perhaps about the nature of the world. I wanted some

visible proof that I was special. It would be enough

for me if some enlightened soul had chosen me as

his pupil. I longed for merger with a great man.

I was a disciple-in-waiting who sought union with a Master.


Paraphrases from the memoir My Father’s Guru by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson.