My sister thinks my psychological problems are rooted in the fact that I had a co-dependent relationship with my mother. Supposedly, my mother enabled my dependency — failing to encourage my independent development. In my sister’s view, my mother “enabled” me.
Be that as it may.
If you look at my brother-in-law’s behavior, you can see that he was a serial co-dependent, turning everybody in his environment into his enabler.
- My brother-in-law earned a bachelor’s degree in business in 1969. (His uncle paid for his tuition (parasitism?).) After college, his mother got him a job with the Camden, N.J. school district as a school teacher. His mother had connections. Through his mother’s enabling my brother-in-law got a job that he was not entitled to since under Camden’s standards and practices one was required to have credits in education in order to teach. In this example, his mother enabled his fraud on the Camden School District as well his exploitation of the school children he taught. I am not questioning his mother’s help in getting a job — I am questioning her enabling of his getting a job that he was not qualified to do.
- In 1977 my brother-in-law was in a car accident in which he was not injured in the slightest. He had a lawyer friend who enabled my brother-in-law’s admission to a hospital where he stayed for several days to concoct medical evidence for a fraudulent lawsuit against the other driver. He used his friend to enable his fraud on the hospital, his medical insurer, the other driver, and the auto insurer.
- In the spring of 1982 my brother-in-law and sister went to Miami on vacation during the school year. My brother-in-law had me call in sick for him every morning with the Camden School District. He advised me to say, “I am Edward Jacobson. I am sick today.” He had me enable his fraud on the Camden Schools.
- At her death my mother owned a car, a Dodge Dart. My sister was administrator of my mother’s estate. The law required that my sister, as administrator, sell the car and pay the proceeds into my mother’s estate. My brother-in-law had my sister keep the car and register the car in her name. My brother-in-law had his wife enable his fraud on me, my mother’s estate, and the New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles. My sister did not have clear title to that vehicle. Later, my brother-in-law sold the car. My sister represented to the buyer that she had title (which she did not) — my sister enabled my brother-in-law’s fraud on the buyer of the vehicle and the New Jersey Department of motor vehicles.
This is “serial ennabling.” My brother-in-law got everybody in his environment to enable his misconduct and illegal behavior. He was a co-dependent. But not simply co-dependent. The behavior that was enabled was all fraudulent or illegal. This is psychopathic co-dependency.
I have simply listed four incidents that I know about. Where there other incidents? The ancient Romans had a saying: “What goes on in the light also goes on in the dark.” Saying it another way, “When you see one cockroach, you can be sure that there’s a thousand more cockroaches behind the wall.”