Yesterday I read an article in the New York Times about Elie Wiesel’s son, Elisha. I read the following: “Throughout his young life, Mr. Wiesel’s father made only one demand — that he marry in the Jewish faith, which he did. But as his father neared death, he made one more request, that his son say kaddish for him.”
In the evening I read the obituary of the Holocaust survivor, Curt Lowens, who went on to become an actor. The article reported that in the late 1930’s Lowens’ family moved to Berlin in the hopes that the city’s large Jewish community could provide more protection. The family was in Berlin in 1938 during Kristallnacht. The family eventually moved to Holland where they were arrested by the Nazis and sent to a concentration camp.
In the afternoon I ordered a copy of Dr. Palombo’s book, The Emergent Ego.
May 13 is the anniversary of Sigmund Freud’s circumcision.
In the evening I had the following dream:
I am on my way to work. It is about 8:30 in the morning. I decide to stop off at a nearby synagogue to say morning prayers. I worry about being late for work. I am the only person in the synagogue and I feel exposed. I see the rabbi and I feel he is judging me. I am uncomfortable. I take a seat and the synagogue fills up. I begin to feel better that I am no longer alone. I am seated next to an attractive girl in her twenties. I think: “She’s way too young for me.” The cantor sings in Hebrew. There was a feeling of unease throughout the dream.
1. Reading the Wiesel article made me think of morning prayers. I remember my brother-in-law saying that Neil Sagot, a lawyer, said kaddish every morning for his mother.
2. Being isolated in the synagogue may have been related to the Lowens article — the synagogue filling up with people corresponded to the Lowens’ wish to be in Berlin to be among a large number of Jews. Safety in numbers. There was no safety in numbers for the Lowens family.
3. “I worry about being late for work.” I used to take time off from work to see Dr. Palombo every Friday afternoon. I worried about taking time off. Dr. Palombo used to encourage me to take up the practice of law. I felt he was coercing me. Does the dream reveal that I viewed my consults with Dr. Palombo as a religious experience? I have mixed feelings about religion; I feel that ritual is ridiculous, but I am drawn to religion. Are these my feelings about psychoanalysis?
4. “The cantor sings in Hebrew.” I associate this thought to the following dream:
There is a clear parallel to the following dream thought in the dream below:
“I listen to the teacher and am unable to follow him. I have no idea what he is talking about.”