The ideas and conclusions in my letter seem crazy but the fact remains that we see evidence of the following in my personality. Then the only remaining question is: how do the known pieces fit together? I am open to other suggestions: what other way would these pieces fit together?
1. We see evidence of depressive anxiety (1) in my literary references, (2) in my difficulties in groups, and (3) in my obsessive preoccupation with psychoanalysis.
2. We see evidence of a fear of maternal engulfment in my difficult relations with female therapists, including one therapist who got so bent out of shape that she wanted to prescribe Haldol. In another case, the District Government (head of the Dept. of Behavioral Health) had to terminate my treatment.
3. We see evidence of intense idealization of certain individuals — including one whom I am court ordered not to mention.
4. We see a lack of evidence of history of severe devaluation of others (like Trump) that would be suggestive of paranoid-schizoid splitting.
5. We see marked evidence of creativity consistent with an infantile “dissociative function of the ego” described by Weismann.