eggs and sausages

Scene at the Garter Inn.

FALSTAFF:

Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.

BARDOLPH:

With eggs, sir?

FALSTAFF:

Simple of itself; I’ll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.

Exit BARDOLPH

How now!

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And he admitted in court pleadings that he dreamed about this!

SCENE I. Windsor. Before PAGE’s house.

I will make a Star-chamber matter of it.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2015. I was 61 years old. I had an appointment with my new primary care doctor, Jonathan A. Page, M.D. When he walked into the examining room, I greeted him by saying, “I’m being treated for hypothyroidism and hyperlipidemia.” I was an overweight, middle aged man. Dr. Page was a young doctor who had only recently completed his Family Practice residency.

An odd thought flashed through my mind: the meeting of the buffoonish, superannuated, and overweight Falstaff and the young Prince Hal, two Shakespearean characters that fate had brought together at the Garter Inn in London, or in my case, within the confines of a clinic examining room. FALSTAFF: Take away these chalices. Go brew me a pottle of sack finely. BARTENDER: With eggs, sir? FALSTAFF: Simple of itself; I’ll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. Exit BARTENDER: How now!

I asked Dr. Page to check my testosterone level. He refused. He said that he did not prescribe testosterone and explained that it had serious side effects like heart attack. He asked me if I ever had a heart attack. I said no and added, “I’ve never had heart disease of any kind.” The issue of heart attack came up at the consult, but Dr. Page did not suggest that I take a daily baby aspirin as a preventative. Oddly, months later, at a consult in early 2016, Dr. Page did suggest that I take baby aspirin. It was right after his nephew was born. Did the birth of his nephew trigger his suggestion that I take “baby aspirin?” Strange.

Dr. Page told me that he wanted to have my blood drawn. I interjected, “But I had breakfast this morning.” The doctor said, “That’s fine. As long as you didn’t have a high fatty breakfast like eggs and sausages.” On a later occasion Dr. Page mentioned that he sometimes had nightmares about a man breaking into his house with the doctor coming down the stairs to find him eating eggs and sausages, and that Dr. Page associated that dream with me. That was uncanny.