Your favorite virtue | The principal aspect of my personality | Will power |
Your favorite qualities in a man. | The quality that I desire in a man. | The willingness to sit on a park bench and talk about nothing, while watching the pigeons fight over peanuts |
Your favorite qualities in a woman. | The quality that I desire in a woman. | The willingness to have sex on the first date |
Your chief characteristic | —- | Stubbornness |
What you appreciate the most in your friends | What I appreciate most about my friends. | If I had friends, their willingness to accept me |
Your main fault | My main fault | Stubbornness |
Your favourite occupation. | My favorite occupation. | Doing nothing |
Your idea of happiness | My dream of happiness. | Getting paid to do nothing |
Your idea of misery. | What would be my greatest misfortune? | Losing my government benefits |
If not yourself, who would you be? | What I should like to be. | A reincarnation of myself — as a normal person |
Where would you like to live? | The country where I should like to live. | Miami Beach — or any locale where I could have a beach front condo |
Your favourite colour and flower. | My favourite colour. | I’m girly, but I’m not that girly |
—- | The flower that I like. | Please, again with the flower questions! |
—- | My favorite bird. | The raven |
Your favorite prose authors. | My favorite prose authors. | Hesse, George Steiner |
Your favorite poets. | My favorite poets. | Whitman, Lord Byron |
Your favorite heroes in fiction. | My heroes in fiction. | Hamlet. |
Your favorite heroines in fiction. | My favorite heroines in fiction. | Any female perjurer will do, preferably one with a British accent |
Your favorite painters and composers. | My favorite composers. | Beethoven, Wagner, Schumann. |
—- | My favorite painters. | Rembrandt, Thomas Eakins |
Your heroes in real life. | My heroes in real life. | Simon Wiesenthal, Beethoven |
Your favorite heroines in real life. | —- | Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor |
What characters in history do you most dislike. | —- | The anti-Semites–unfortunately, they are too many to name |
Your heroines in World history | My heroines in history. | Marie Curie |
Your favorite food and drink. | —- | Pizza and beer (any brand will do) |
Your favorite names. | My favorite names. | Ludwig, Richard, Robert |
What I hate the most. | What I hate most of all. | Work that involves affiliating with others |
World history characters I hate the most | Historical figures that I despise the most. | Haman |
The military event I admire the most | The military event that I admire most. | The British victory in the Falklands war (1982) |
The reform I admire the most | The reform which I admire the most. | The 14th Amendment |
The natural talent I’d like to be gifted with | The gift of nature that I would like to have. | The ability to play the piano well |
How I wish to die | How I want to die. | In my sleep after sweaty sex |
What is your present state of mind. | My present state of mind. | Concerned. My 70 minutes on the public library computer is about to expire |
For what fault have you most toleration? | Faults for which I have the most indulgence. | Grandiosity |
Your favorite motto. | My motto. | If you feel you’ve gotten screwed, make a fuss! |
The Proust Questionnaire
09 Friday May 2014
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